The Breakfast Club

I've now been in the same hotel for 3 weeks, and have realised that there are some other people staying that are long termers. I don't know who these people are or what they are doing in Winchester but I have given them names and made up stories about them to pass the time.

The Mad Man
The mad man is very quiet and aggressive looking, he never says anything, eats a huge meaty breakfast to sustain his strength for strangling people. After hes finished he takes his Popeye style tattooed forearms for a smoke in the bar.

The Little Man
Reminds me of the "little man" in the UK version of the apprentice. Always looking down his nose at people and mutters under his breath at the waitresses, dines with the paper and his mobile phone, waiting for the big call that never arrives.

The Hoffmeister
A huge bear of a man who dines alone, or does he? A blonde woman always comes in moments after him and sits on the next table. They talk together, once they sat at the same table. Yesterday the Hoff received a phone call and he was shouting that he'd speak later - obviously his wife ringing with the " is that hussy having breakfast with you" conversation.
I saw the Hoff and the skinny lady out together in Winchester last night, Hoff was not at breakfast this morning.

The Big Lass
A larger lady, who tries every morning to (like myself) avoid a big greasy English breakfast, lets just say I have considerably more success.

Steve Martin
Well if it isn't its his double.